Friday, September 3, 2010

She Wants to Comb Her Own Hair

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A has been very interested in learning to comb her own hair lately. Her cousin was over last weekend and asked A if she combs her own hair. She replied, "No, my mama will teach me." then her cousin went on and on about how she combs her own hair.

A thinks all the "big girls" comb their own hair. She thinks she's a big girl so decided to give it a try. Pictured above are the end results.

Looks like I will be working with her a little more on the combing. I'll let her give it a try next time we wash her hair.

Still...I'm a little sad that she wants to comb her own hair. lol Does that sound silly? I knew it would happen, but not this early. I am happy she is showing interest in caring for her own hair though.

For those of you with older girls, how did you teach them to properly comb their hair?


32 comments :

  1. My daughter is 3 so she tries to comb her own hair but she knows to hand over the comb when she sees me coming. I know what you mean by feeling sad. I would feel sad too... a little. There is some sort of bonding when you are doing your daughters hair so I don't think it is silly. It just is a sign that they are growing up.

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  2. My daughter is 10 and has very thick long hair, but is able to do some of her hair care on her own.

    She was having a hard time getting shampoo through her mass of curls and down to her scalp, so I put shampoo and a bit of water in an applicator bottle so she's able to squeeze shampoo right onto her scalp where it's needed. Massage the scalp and rinse...no problem anymore!

    Then she puts a ton of conditioner on it and stays in the shower while she combs it. She grabs a little section at a time, combs through it with a wide tooth comb (she knows to start at the ends and work her way up) while it's still soaked with water and conditioner. When it's detangled, she braids that section in a loose braid and moves on to the next until she's done with her whole head. Then she rinses the conditioner with her hair still in the loose braids. After that, she gets out of the shower and comes to find me for styling.

    The process takes a lot longer for her to do it than it did when I was doing it, and her showers on hair day are LOOONG, but she's going to be a pro with her hair in no time! She doesn't do much in the way of combing after she gets out of the shower, although she does like helping me do 2 strand twists on her hair. I'm going to be so sad when she doesn't need me for her hair anymore!

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  3. Only one of my daughters is interested and I let her use the detangling comb after I have completely detangled her hair. I make sure she combs from the ends. When they are just a little older, I plan to teach both girls to wash, condition, and finger detangle. Then we'll move on to combs and styling.

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  4. That's so adorable! As a daughter, I wasn't taught to comb my hair at all - I only learnt when I went natural at 17 O_O
    So I think it's great that she's learning at such a young age - it'll stand her good stead in the future.
    In the meanwhile, I'm sure she'll still depend on her mama to style up her hair :)

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  5. my 7-year-old loves to brush her hair in the tub with tons of conditioner! she has a brush with rubber wide-teeth, from walmart, that she loves to run through her detangled hair and feel how long it is!! she is extra careful now because she got my round brush stuck in her hair!!!

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  6. Oh Nikki, you are too cute yourself! You are sad that she wants to comb her own hair. That is super adorable. But 4 yrs old is kinda early, but again with A maybe not. She must take much pride in her hair like you do. So that is actually understandable that she shows interest in it that early. hmmm wonder when Jannah will show interest in combing her own hair!

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  7. She is too cute! I remember my mother used to comb my hair until I was in the 6th grade and I hated it! I don't have children but I do recall my mother not wanting to let go and allow me to do my own hair. Needless to say, the last time my mother touched my head was when she relaxed it and pressed it the next month. I watched my hair fall out on ,y pillow every morning :( But she is going to have to learn sometime and while she's asking, I think it's about time to at least start making sure she understands the basics!

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  8. Maybe she can start by combing her doll's hair. My DD (6) is really big on washing and styling her dolls' hair (curly and straight)now and on more than one occassion, I've had to remove a comb that was tangled (similar to your pic). I've been showing her how to start combing at the ends and not to be rough with it. She doesn't get as frustrated anymore and hopefully this will stick with her when she's ready to take care of her own hair.

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  9. My daughter is 9 and hasnt' really expressed a desire.. BUT she does wear her hair in extension cornrows most of the time and she does help me remove those.

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  10. Q (2 yrs!) has tried combing hers, too. It scares me! I think she wants to because she sees me comb my own hair (naturally straight :( ) and know I do hers, so wants to copy me.

    So now I try to treat my straight hair just like I do Q's curly hair = no brushes, finger detangle, wooden wide tooth comb sparingly, etc. It's kinda working! At least she hasn't attempted to use a brush on her hair lately! :)

    I really should do more to help her understand how to do her own - but she's SO young! But, the earlier - the better, right? I totally understand your feelings that it's too soon!

    Ms. Love - great inspiration! Thank you for your story :)

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  11. My daughter is three, and she ALWAYS wants to comb her hair. I let her comb it when, it's wet and detangled. One time I even let her put her little butterfly clips in her hair...just to let her act like she was doing something. She was so happy!

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  12. My 4 year old is totally not interested in doing her own hair, but loves the idea of doing her 2 year old little sisters hair and her dolls. I had to give them a wipe case full of their own hair supplies because they would destroy the way I organized them to keep them neat and accessible. I often here them when they are at the "make pretend beauty shop" (as they call it) and my oldest will ask her sister how her day was, if she was a good girl, and sometimes they will sing songs they learned in preschool. It melts my heart when I watch them interact.

    I know that the day will soon come that they will want to do their own styling but I just take it all in and live in the moment....

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  13. You are not silly at all, you're just a good momma lol You get satisfaction out of making your baby look pretty and so do I, the day my baby comes to me with that idea , I'll definitely be sad too ;-]

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  14. My 18 month old always tries to pass my comb through her hair. Any guesses as to how that ends up, lol...She has also tried to comb my hair and I let her try while inwardly cringing and hoping she doesn't do too much damage. She has looser hair than I have, so I am guessing I'll let her learn as soon as she can understand my instructions and properly handle a comb on her own.
    She already tries to put clips in her hair and will try to hand me what hair clips and bands she thinks I should put in her hair. I guess its my fault because I started handing her the box of her hair accessories to keep her busy while I styled her hair.
    I wasn't very girly as a child, and my mother always lamented about that, so I guess it skipped one generation huh.

    Btw, A's outfit is so cute.

    Marin

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  15. Oh wow. We haven't reached this stage yet. My daughter has her days of not caring if her hair ever gets combed, lol. They grow so fast. But then again, this is just a marker that you have been doing everything right. Not only does she love her hair, but she loves it enough to have a little more say in its care =). Too cute.

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  16. I have an 11 YO and we jsut started letting her shampoo, condition and comb through her own hair in the past 2 years. I thought it would never happen. She does it JUST LIKE Ms. Love (the second post) said. Pretty much exactly like that. But I only ever let her start after using Knot Today, it was the first conditioner that I felt was easiy enough for her to get through it all without breaking it.

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  17. My daughter is 8 and while I don't let her style her own hair, I let her help w/maintenance. She likes to be able to spritz it in the morning and smooth the edges and also to add leave-in conditioner at night. http://basicwoman.blogspot.com/

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  18. My daughter is 7 and has not expressed an interest in combing her own hair. She likes me to do all the work. She does however like to offer suggestions for hairstyles. This weekend we will be trying A's back to school hairstyle.

    --Angi

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  19. Anisa hasn't expressed any interest in combing her hair although she has cut it before. While everything is left up to me, I do include her in the process. We talk about what I'm doing or what kind if style she wants. So to answer your question, you're not silly for being sad.

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  20. My daughter is 9 years old and she hasn't really expressed whether or not she wants to do her hair. She does co-wash her hair though....baby steps.

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  21. My daughter is nearly 8 and adopted from Ethiopia about 15 months ago. She takes a lot of interest in her hair and,at 6.5, already had good (very!) braiding skills. I wash it and she is helping more and more. We wash in sections now and she can finger detangle and use combs and a modified Denman correctly (thick 4b hair). We still wash at the sink because she doesn't like showers too much and the bath gets cold and yucky for hair washing. We'll eventually move the system Ms. Love describes. She also removes box braids, twists and cornrows. She also does a few box braids closer to her face - I part and she does a good job. I showed her how to bead ONCE and she had it down.

    It is a sign of growing up. For me, I had a pang of "just let me do it", but I realized that it was about me wanting to be in control of the hair process and control my learning. My pang was also that I realized while I need to keep on my learning curve, I need to train her and make sure she is keeping her skills up. She will surpass me soon enough.
    Martha

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  22. Aww shes growing too quick! Ava already takes her brush from me and tries to comb her hair lol!
    Keep teaching her its nice that she wants to learn and she has such a great mommy!

    I left you an award on my blog :)

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  23. She's getting so big! It's a great thing that you are willing and able to help her learn about her hair. Let us know what works for you.

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  24. My daugther is 6 and does not try to comb it yet, though recently she's tried to "style" it. She has begun getting more into messing with and fixing her dolls' hair, which I guess is good practice. But I've caught her trying to use my hair products on them. So have to watch her b/c don't want my money spent on doll hair. LOL

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  25. Awww look at A! lol Hope you didn't have too much trouble getting that out.

    My oldest daughter is 7 and occasionally she does try to comb her own hair, but I won't officially allow her to do it until she's much older.

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  26. I have teen (13) & a tween (11) DDs. It has been a difficult process for me to let go. Last year, DH told me it was time for them to do their own hair. I just cringed. Although I taught them how to care for their own hair, the eldest just got frustrated & was ripping her hair out. I just braced myself for the jacked up styles. 1st day of school DH asked the eldest how she wanted to style her hair & she said. 2 big cornrows. He said it was out of the question (too masculine). I think she just wants easy & quick. Just today, the youngest told me she didn't want barettes that made her look too babyish. *tear* They are growing up. I have to know that they couldn't still be coming to me to do their hair @ like 18. LOL They both wash, condition & DC their hair. They sit under the hooded dryer & everything. Detangling. UGH still a learning process. They are both transitioning, so I am trying to be patient. Awesome post. Love the comments left by everyone. Thank you for sharing.

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  27. Don't be sad...My daughter is 17 months (just sent you an email w pics) and she tries to comb her hair. She's a very independent soul. I have to keep her out of it for now, but I am intent on her knowing how to properly care for all that hair. :-)

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  28. I don't even want to think about this. When the time comes, I will take cues from the girls. It's a maturity thing. I'm thinking when they are around 9 or 10.

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  29. This is kind of off topic here but what would you recomend someone use instead of bee mine? That stuff is all so expensive I ended up paying over $20 just for one little tub of curly butter and wasnt all that impressed. I cant find anything ALL natural at any BSS can you help?

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  30. I agree with anonymous. I have never tried bee mine because the price is crazy but I do want to use more natural products. The products at the BSS say natural but are not. What else is there?

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  31. Thanks for all of your response.

    Anonymous, I do not use the curly butter alone, I use it together with the luscious moisturizer. I always recommend people purchasing samples, but that's with any product they buy. Bee Mine carries samples for around $5 that will last you 3 or so uses.

    As far as natural products, it's tough trying to find them in stores, but what exactly are you looking for? Conditioner? Moisturizer? Shampoo? etc. Does your BSS carry 100% Unrefined African Shea Butter? I used to use that all the time and I would mix it with Extra Virgin Coconut Oil (from Vitamin Shoppe) and if I was styling her hair in braids, cornrows or twists I would use that and a little Organic Root Stimulator Lock & Twist Gel (not natural) and that combo worked well but I had to be careful with the ORS or it would cause flakes or build up. Since using the Bee Mine, for us, her actual styles (twists, braids, cornrws) last a lot longer. Hope that helps. Feel free to email me.

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  32. I know this is an old post but I am having the same issue with my daughter. She doesn't want to take the time and comb it in sections. I'm thinking about starting to wash her in sections to make it easier for her and me both.

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